Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Through the Magic of Technology. . .

We all know that science never rests in its pursuit of excellence, innovation, and (most importantly) life-altering consumer goods. Thus, my dear friends, we come to today's topic: the spreadable biscuit. Known as cookies to Americans, lab techs have been working tirelessly to create a substance retaining all flavor properties of said comestible whilst translating the texture to something not unadjacent to pate. Impossible you say? Not so! In fact, a team in Belgium has already slung to market gallons of this exact product! See the leading experts discuss this phenomenal discovery here. I am positive that with this landmark achievement, curing cancer can only be moments away.

NABISCO! You lazy slackers! What's wrong with you? Surely spreadable Oreos is not too much of a stretch for a massive conglommerate such as yourself. You have obviously lost touch with your target market. Your adoring public has been waiting patiently for jugs of that white goop, and they have been spurned for their continued patronage! You have been scooped by a European bakery that doesn't even DO focus groups in America. For shame. Watch yourself, R&D. Your executive shareholders are circling like sharks around chum.

For those of you who wish to distance yourself from this disgraceful spectacle, a recipe for making your own Oreos can be found here.Link

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